PS 3513 
.1423 

16 

1922 
Copy 1 



PRICE THIKTY-FIVE CENTS 




IN THE AIR 

IHI by 

JOHN M. GILBERT 




THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
PHILADELPHL\ 



Successful Rural Plays 

A Strong List From Which to Select Your 
Next Play 

TABM rOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
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HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubes. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two 
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Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son 
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She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. 
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Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis- 
covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lost him also. Then 
he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. 

THE OliB NEV7 HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New 

England Drama in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For seven 
males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, 
modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich 
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THE OLD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy 
in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four 
females. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex- 
terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money 
from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer's 
niece, whose husband he claims to be. Her escapes from the 
wiles of the villain and his female accomplice are both starting 
and novel. 

A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in 
Five Acts, by Charles Townsend. For seven males and four 
females, and three supers. ^ Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 
One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a 
country lad, twice saves the life of a banker's daughter, whic1> 
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mate his schemes, saves the banker, and wins the girL 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



IN THE AIR 



A Breezy Comedy in Three Acts 



By 
JOHN M. GILBERT 

Author of "The Day Express," etc. 




PHILADELPHIA 
THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1922 



P535I3 



Copyright 1922 by The Penn Publishing Company 



GI.0 600/3 

In the Afr FEB 24 1922 



In the Air 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Tom Onthewing A would-be aviator 

Archie Thorpe An inventor 

Benjamin Franklin Brown A country boy 

Dr. John Dexter. Of the Hospital Staff 

Perkins. A chauffeur 

Jimmy Jumper. A messenger boy 

Angelica Terrafirma. The Heiress 

Kate Coddlington A nurse 

Mary Pettit A nurse 

Etheria Lane. A country girl with aspirations 

Time of Playing : — One hour and a half. 



SYNOPSIS 



Act I. — Scene — Interior of a tent on the Aviation 

field. 
Act II. — Scene — Ante-room in Hospital, the next day. 
Act III. — Scene — Private room in Hospital, one week 

later. 



STORY OF THE PLAY 

Tom Onthewing, a would-be aviator, is in love with 
Angelica Terrafirma, an heiress who does not care 
for flying. This difiference of opinion keeps them 
apart. Tom has a fall in his plane and is sent to 
a hospital unconscious. Angelica, filled with re- 
morse, hurries to the hospital to care for him. 
She induces Kate Coddlington to yield her place 
to her, so that she may nurse him. Kate first 
instructs her what to tell the doctor and then 
leaves. Tom revives but does not recognize 
Angelica, because his head and eyes are com- 
pletely covered with bandages. He thinks An- 
gelica is the nurse, but tells her that her voice 
sounds strangely familiar. Doctor Dexter in the 
dim light of the invalid's room proposes to An- 
gelica, thinking she is Kate, and during their con- 
versation Tom realizes that she is Angelica. He 
sits up and tears the bandage from his eyes. All 
ends well. 



NOTICE TO PROFESSIONALS 

This play is published for the free use o£ strictly 
amateur companies only. Professional actors or 
organizations wishing to produce it, in any form 
or under any title, are forbidden to do so without 
the consent of the author, who may be addressed 
in care of the publishers. 



In the Air 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Interior of tent on aviation field — Tom and 
Archie on stage. Archie seated left with model 
of aeroplane in his hands. Tom standing. 

Archie. You can easily see that this plane will sur- 
pass any at present in use. I tell you what, Tom, 
now I've set out to conquer the air I mean to do 
it thoroughly. Come on, share the triumph with 
me! 

ToM. What can I do? If flying as a passenger 
will be of any use to you, you can depend on me. 
ril fly ! I'm willing enough to help you. I only 
wish you could invent something by which I could 
win Angelica. 

Archie. I've never thought much of controlling the 
airs of a beauty ; it's easier to steer an aeroplane. 

Tom. Don't joke, old man. You're fancy free so far. 

Archie. Well, I haven't come to wearing my heart 
on my sleeve. Cheer up, old fellow ! 

Tom {taking model and studying it carefully^. How 
in the world do you ever plan such things? I 
could no more do it than 

Archie {interrupting). ''Than fly," you were going 
to say. Well, you can fly now, if you want to. {As 
if an idea had suddenly occurred to him. ) I say ! 
If an aeroplane can conquer the air, why wouldn't 
it be effective with an heiress, too ? Why not ask 
her to fly with you? 

Tom. You don't know Angelica. She hates the idea 
of leaving solid earth. No ! It's useless to tr}^ to 
tempt her by flight. 

Archie. Not useless at all! Just the thing! You 

S 



IN THE AIR 

insist on flying, and if she won't fly with you, 
she'll fly after you. 

Tom. Not she! {Puts model on table,) 

Archie. Yes, she will. You have evidence of my 
inventive powers: let me tell you Tve just in- 
vented a plan — an airy plan — which will win your 
heiress sure enough. Will you trust me ? 

Tom. Yes, Til put myself in your hands. Til do as 
you say. You may think it's just for the sake of 
Angelica's money, but I tell you that's not so. If 
you only knew her as I do ! 

Archie. Better not ! I might be tempted to use my 
new plan for myself. When will you begin to 
follow my directions? 

Tom. No time like the present! 

Archie. Come with me then, and depend upon it the 
air will help you with the heiress ! 

{Exeunt. Cheering in the distance. Enter Angelica, 
both hands at the back of her neck.) 

Angelica. Oh, how my neck aches ! I've been look- 
ing up at the sky for hours, and I don't see why 
somebody doesn't invent something to make it 
easier to watch an aviator! Now it's no trouble 
to watch a baseball game. You can sit and look 
ahead of you and see the whole thing, but with 
flying machines it's different, and the grand stand 
isn't as comfortable as the bleachers. I wonder 
if it wouldn't make a hit to have one furnished 
with cots or hammocks, so you could look up 
without straining your neck so ! Only then they'd 
have to take the roof off and it's usually the roof 
that makes the grand stand grand ! Oh, my neck ! 
And I do believe I'm sunburned under the chin. 
I've held it up at such an angle. 

{Takes small mirror from hand-bag. Enter Tom with 
cap and goggles. ) 

Tom. Say, Angel, I've been looking all over for you. 

I couldn't go without saying good-bye. 
Angelica {studying mirror and using powder puff), 

6 



IN THE AIB 

Oh, Tom ! Is that yoti ? You've no idea how my 
neck aches; and Fm frightfully hungry ! Do look 
up Perkins, and tell him to fetch the hamper ! 

Tom. I haven't time to eat anything now. 

Angelica. Haven't time to eat ! That's the first time 
I ever heard you say that. {Still using powder,) 
There! How does that look? {Turns toward 
him, her head thrown back, showing neck and 
chin liberally powdered.) Does it look very red? 

Tom. Couldn't be whiter. ' 

Angelica {dropping head to natural level and for 
first time noticing Tom's goggles). Gracious! 
How you do look ! Is it easier to watch the flights 
with goggles on ? 

Tom. Haven't tried it. I put them on because I'm 
going up. 

Angelica. Going up? Sounds like a man in an 
elevator. What do you keep on the third floor? 
Perhaps I'll find the restaurant there. Be a good 
boy, Tom, and find Perkins. I'm starving ! 

Tom. Why are your thoughts so fastened on the 
material facts of existence? How can you fail to 
be inspired by the progress of man's skill ; by the 
achievements of man's genius? How can you 
cling to earth while the air is all about you and 
above you, and the conquest of its uncharted ex- 
tent awaits you ! How can you be unmoved by 
what you have seen to-day? 

Angelica. I wasn't ! It may sound contradictory 
but I was so moved that I remained rooted to one 
spot for hours. I've a stiff neck for proof. But 
I've an undeniable feeling that I can't live on air, 
and I must have Perkins and the hamper at once ! 
Just drop your heroics, Tom, long enough to find 
them both, and then come back and we'll have a 
cosy lunch together. 

Tom. But I'm all ready for a flight ! 

Angelica. Ready for flight! Then fly! Fly for 
Perkins! Fly for the hamper! Take the birds 
for your model and come back with a worm in 
your bill 

7 



m THE AIR 

Tom. You are too provoking ! Can't you see that 
Fm in earnest? 

Angelica. Don't talk about being provoking. I'm 
only copying you. And as for being in earnest, 
you can't be more in earnest than I am. I demand 
the necessaries of life; not that I love air less, but 
that I love food more — for the time being, at least. 
Fly, Tom, and make a record! 

{She draws him to rear, opens tent flap and pushes 
him out. Exit Tom.) 

Angelica (again taking hand-mirror, and talking to 
her reflection in it). It's all I can do to keep my 
patience! Yet somehow I must manage to keep 
Tom on the ground. He used to be content with 
me, but now I've only a second place in his af- 
fections. Isn't it discouraging that a girl should 
be set aside for such rivals ! There isn't one of 
these winged wonders that makes any claim to 
good looks, however graceful their movements 
may be, and Tom is devoted to them all. 

{Still using mirror, she begins song. Tune: '' Quilt- 
ing Party.'') 

Often as my mirror tells me 
I must ask it yet again 
For it always answers very plainly 
'' You are not so very plain." 

Ref. You are not so very plain 
You are not so very plain 
Yes, it always answers very plainly 
" You are not so very plain." 

I've been glad to hear its message 
But the joy has turned to pain; 
Modern lovers can't be held by beauty . 
When they see an aeroplane ! 

{Taking up model,) 
8 



IN THE AIR 
Ref, When they see an aeroplane, etc. 

O just fancy what the wooing 
Of the coming days will be ; 
" Be a monoplane no longer, darling, 
Be a biplane just with me ! " 

Ref. '' Be a biplane just with me/' etc. 
{Puts model on table,) 
{Enter Archie.) 

Archie. I beg pardon. I was looking for Mr. On- 
thewing. 

Angelica. He has just gone in search of my man. 
He'll return directly. 

Archie. Is this Miss Terrafirma? I am Tom's old 
chum, Archie Thorpe. 

Angelica. Oh, Mr. Thorpe, I'm very glad to meet 
you. Tom has spoken of you so often. Do sit 
down and wait for him, and then stay and have 
a bite with us. We are just about to have 
luncheon. 

Archie. Thank you so much, but it is almost time 
for my ascent. 

Angelica. Are you really going into all that danger 
just for the excitement? Where is the fascina- 
tion in it? 

Archie. Perhaps Tom could tell you better than I; 
he seems to have become enthusiastic lately. 

Angelica. I should think he had, but I hope I can 
laugh him out of it. Won't you help me, Mr. 
Thorpe? Dwell on its dangers — ^how he can 
never accomplish anything by it — how there's 
nothing to win beyond a little empty applause. 

Archie. I'm afraid he expects to win more than that. 
But I must not wait. Very happy to have met 
you, Miss Terrafirma. Please tell Tom I'm sorry 
to have missed him. 

{Takes model and carries it out. Exit Archie.) 

9 



IN THE Alk 

(Enter Perkins, with large hamper. He opens fold- 
ing table in center, spreads cloth, etc) 

Angelica. What have you brotight, Perkins ? 

Perkins. Only a plain luncheon, Miss Angelica. I've 
some cold birds 

Angelica (interrupting). Birds? Don't take them 
out ! Don't talk about the food being plain ! 
Everything conspires to suggest those tiresome 
machines and flying! Can't you get something 
heavy, Perkins? Something that holds you fast 
to earth — something with feet, but nothing with 
wings. 

Perkins (astonished). You told me, Miss, to put up 
a light luncheon ! 

Angelica. Well, I made a mistake. I want a heavy 
one, Perkins. Jump into the motor and hurry 
back to town and bring something that doesn't 
suggest flying — some terrapin, elephant steak, 
plum pudding — anything heavy and solid and sub- 
stantial! Hurry! (Perkins goes bewildered, 
leaving hamper half unpacked. Angelica seizes 
box containing birds and follows him, calling,) 
Perkins ! Perkins ! Take these birds with you ! 

(Exit Angelica. Enter Etheria and Benjamin. 
Benjamin has kite.) 

Benjamin. Ain't this aviation great! I guess I've 
found my trade at last. I guess 'twasn't for 
nothin' I was named after one of the first men that 
made anything out of the air. 

Etheria. What on earth do you mean, Ben? 

Benjamin. Why, Ben Franklin. Don't you remem- 
ber how he took to kite flyin' ? I guess there is 
something more than electricity up there and if 
there is I'm bound to find it ! 

Etheria (admiringly), 'Course you will! 

Benjamin. I'll fly a kite till I can get something 
that'll carry me up myself ! 

Etheria. Oh, Benny, you won't go alone, will you? 

Benjamin. Who'd go with me, do you think? 

lO 



IN THE AIR 

Etheria. I know somebody who would. 
Benjamin. Well, is he very big? 'Cause if he is he 

couldn't go. And is he very brave? 'Cause if he 

isn't he couldn't go. 
Etheria. He isn't at all ! 

Benjamin. Isn't at all? What do you mean? 
Etheria. I mean he isn't very big and he isn't very 

brave, and he isn't he, 'cause he's somebody else ! 
Benjamin. Oh, quit your foolin' ! Who are you 

talkin' about, anyway? 
Etheria {coyly). Can't you guess? 
Benjamin. I'm not good at guessin', and beside I've 

got to use all my brains to manage to get into the 

air myself. {Sings — Tune ''Michael Roy/') 

I. — I'll do as much as Ben Franklin did 
With his kite and string and key ! 
And a lot of things that from him were hid, 
I fully intend to see ! 
He never rode in an automobile. 
Nor ventured above this planet. 
Nor ever a wireless message sent. 
Though the spark on his key began it ! 

Chorus, — Hurrah ! Hurrah ! For every chap that 
flies! 
Hurrah, for the air that still gives a chance 
For a country boy to rise ! 

2. — I long indeed for the day to come 
When I proudly take my place 
Where the busy motors whir and hum 
While they carry me through space ! 
With never a thought beneath the stars 
As they light up the milky way. 
I'll break the record from Earth to Mars 
When I celebrate that day ! 

(Chorus as before.) 
Etheria (weeping). How can you be so unkind? 



IN THE A IB 



Benjamin. Unkind ? Why, what did I say that hurt 

your feeUngs? 
Etheria. You said — you said^ — you said you'd never 

have a thought for anything lower than the stars ! 
Benjamin. Well, what of it? 
Etheria. Why, you'll forget me then ! 
Benjamin. Oh, nonsense ! Ell never forget you ! I 

couldn't, you know. {Sees hamper.) Look here ! 

Now here's something worth while. Come! let's 

set the table. 

(As they are putting contents on table, enter Tom, 
still in goggles, etc,) 

Tom. Hello! Must be in the wrong tent! 

Benjamin (excitedly to Etheria). He's the real 
thing ! He's a flyer sure enough ! 

Tom. Beg pardon. I didn't mean to intrude. Evi- 
dently got into the wrong tent. 

Benjamin. Don't go ! Stay and have dinner with us ! 

Tom. Sorry, but Em engaged elsewhere. 

Etheria. Oh ! Please stay ! It'll be such a grand 
thing to talk to a real aviator. 

Tom. So you're interested in flying? 

Etheria. Ben is and I want to go with him. 

(All gather round the table. Angelica enters unseen 
— stands at door watching group.) 

Tom (to Etheria). You want to go! Well, you're 
a girl worth having! If Ben won't take you, 
what would you think of going up with me, just 
for a rise ? 

Etheria (delightedly) . Would you really take me? 

Benjamin. No, he wouldn't ! 

Angelica. No, he couldn't ! 

(Tom startled. All turn to Angelica, rising quickly 

from table.) 

Angelica (to Tom). If these young people will ex- 
cuse you, we'll have our luncheon, Tom ! Perkins 
is bringing the hamper; 

(Enter Perkins.) 

12 



IN THE AIR 

Tom (aside). Perkins and the hamper! The same 
old refrain. (To Angelica.) I beg your pardon, 
AngeUca, but I have just asked this young lady to 
fly with me. 

Angelica. Don't be ridiculous, Tom. You know you 
might as well ask her to die with you; and I'm 
sure you're not cruel enough to do that. 

(They retire to rear of stage, as if talking, and soon 
exeunt. Perkins produces second table and pro- 
ceeds to arrange it. Etheria a7td Benjamin 
slowly return to their table, glancing at Perkins 
from time to time,) 

Perkins. It's a heavy luncheon Pve brought this 
time, and no mistake ! I didn't even dare bring 
hard-boiled eggs for fear they might suggest 
chicken wings. But there's plenty of canned 
goods, and they do weigh most terrible. I even 
got the plum pudding in cans to make it heavier, 
and I got the baker to let me have some slack 
baked bread to make sure it would do. (Goes on 
setting table.) Certain it is that some people's 
whims and fancies do take a lot of time and money 
to satisfy. Those young folks seem to be enjoy- 
ing the light stuff all right. Just look at the way 
that girl eats cream puffs ! 

Benjamin. Pm glad that meddlesome chap met his 
equal. 

Etheria. Meddlesome chap ! He's a gentleman born 
and bred ! Anyone could see that, I should think. 
I should call the lady the meddlesome one. 

Benjamin. Why should he ask you to fly with him? 
Now, if he'd asked me ! 

Etheria. I guess he thought you were too heavy. 

Benjamin (scornfully). Too heavy! (To Per- 
kins.) Say, Mister, do you know the names of 
those people ? 

Perkins (stiffly). The gentleman is Mr. Thomas 
Onthewing, and the lady is Miss Terrafirma, the 
great heiress. 

U 



IN THE A IE 



Benjamin and Etheria. The heiress! Miss Terra- 

firma ! 
Benjamin. My! We're in society ! 

(Enter Tom and Angelica. Benjamin and Etheria 
gaze admiringly.) 

Angelica. Now, Tom, do be sensible. Have a good 
lunch, a cigar, and then we'll watch the final 
events together. 

(They seat themselves at table, waited on by Per- 
kins.) 

Tom. Angelica, I know you mean well, but you can't 
seem to get my point of view. 

Angelica. As that seems to be from the clouds Fm 
afraid I'll never reach it. Mine isn't quite so high. 

Tom. Angelica, we have never differed before. 
Nothing ever came between us until this aero- 
plane (Rises from table.) Why can you 

not feel the contagion of this great impulse to rise 
above the commonplace? 

(Sings — all joining in chorus — or song may be sang by 
all. Tune, ''Dutch Warbler.'') 

I. — The ways of the world are too humdrum and slow, 
Its roads too dusty and dry ! 
O why should a fellow be stubbing his toe, 
When it is so easy to fly? 

Chorus, 

O, Soar with me ; Fly with me ! Up in the air ! 

Low with me ; high with me ; free from all care, 
With wings for the body, and wings for the wind, 

Let us leave trouble behind. 

2. — Away thro* the air-lanes so lightly we'll pass, 
With stars like daisies abloom; 
With never a sign to keep off of the grass, 
And everywhere plenty of room. (Chorus.) 

14 



IN THE AIR 

3. — O! Please do not wait till my reasons youVe 
weighed, 
My heart too heavy will grow, 
'Tis only of weight that you need be afraid, 
So lightly decide that you'll go ! (Chorus.) 

Angelica. It's no use, Tom, I have inherited too 
much real estate to take care of, and I can't rise 
above it. You must be content to meet me on my 
own ground. 

Tom. ril meet you anywhere on earth, Angelica, but 
my aspirations include a bird's-eye view of all 
your real estate, and acres of it beside. Come 
with me just once, to enjoy that view together. 

Angelica. No, Tom! (Cheering heard outside.) 

Tom. I can't wait! It's time for the last flight! 

(Tom rushes from stage — followed by Etheria and 
Benjamin. Angelica sinks on chair at table, 
burying her face in her arms.) 

Perkins. Wasn't the lunch heavy enough to hold 
him, Miss Angelica? 

Angelica (sobbing). Oh! Perkins! I ought to have 
gone with him ! My heart is heavy enough to 
keep him anchored forever ! ( Weeps. ) 

(Chorus in distance — '' O, Soar with me; Fly with 

me.'') 



curtain 



»s 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Ante-room in Hospital — the next day. 
Table in center — with large record hook. Side 
table with bottles, etc. Kate seated at table mak- 
ing entries in record book. Mary at side table 
mixing medicine. 

Kate {reads), ''Room 143, Mrs. Johnson, admitted 
August 26th. Physician in charge, Dr. Porter. 
Changed by request to Dr. Dexter." That's al- 
ways the way. Nine cases out of ten want Dr. 
Dexter ; nurses as well as patients. 

Mary. Oh, I don't know about that. Speak for your- 
self. 

Kate. Til leave that for you, when he comes in. 

Mary. Thank you! How's the new case in No. 18? 

Kate. As well as could be expected, poor soul. 

{Enter Dr. Dexter, breezily.) 

Doctor. Good-morning ! 

Kate and Mary. Good-morning, Dr. Dexter. 

Doctor. Which of you is on that new surgical case? 
The aviator, I mean. ♦ 

Kate. He's mine ! 

Doctor {laughing). Oh, he's yours! Well, keep a 
good hold on him ! Don't let him fly away from 
you ; for he's young and rich and handsome ! 

Kate. Not very handsome, now ! but a fine young 
man, just the same. Can I do anything for you, 
Doctor? 

Doctor. Thank you ! I couldn't bear to take you 
away from your interesting patient, but if Miss 
Pettit doesn't mind a spin through the park in 
my car, I'll get her to help me this morning. Can 
you go. Miss Pettit? 

Mary. Of course, Doctor! Anywhere you wish. 

16 



IN TBE AIR 

Doctor. Get your hat, then, while I take a look at 
Miss Coddlington's special charge. 

{Exit Mary and Doctor.) 

Kate. I told Mary Pettit she could speak for herself 
and now she'll have a good chance. 

{Bell rings. Enter Jimmy Jumper with florist's box.) 

Jimmy. For Mr. Onthewing! 
Kate. Who shall I say they're from? 
Jimmy. Card inside. {Presenting book.) Sign, 
please ! 

(Kate signs. Exit Jimmy.) 

Kate {finding card in envelope tied to cord). My! 
** Dear Tom, with love from Margaret.'' Well, I 
don't know how soon he'll remember who Mar- 
garet is, for he hasn't noticed me at all. He had 
a nasty fall on his head, and he's certainly a sight 
with the bandages. I'll arrange these, and take 
them to his room. 

{Opens box, takes a few flowers and puts in vase ; as 
she does so,, bell rings. Enter Jimmy with an- 
other box.) 

Jimmy. For Mr. Thomas Onthewing. 

Kate. Any name? 

Jimmy. Card inside! Sign, please! 

(Kate signs. Exit Jimmy. Enter Mary with hat 
and long coat over uniform.) 

Mary. Has the Doctor come down yet ? 

Kate. No, dear. It's a lovely morning for your ride, 

and of course, with dear Dr. Dexter, it will be 

most enjoyable! {Laughs.) 
Mary. You needn't act as if I'd planned it. 
Kate. Oh, no! but then it was a very good plan to 

fall into, wasn't it ? 
Mary. Better than your aviator could propose. 

You'd be more apt to fall out if he asked you to 

ride with him. 

17 



IN THE AIR 

"TAKE MY ADVICE'' 

{Tune — ''Robin Adair/') 

Mary sings — 

Should he ask you to fly, 

Take my advice ! 
Oh, make no rash reply, 

Take my advice ! 
Light-hearted you may be — 
Only light-headed he — 
'Tis best go cautiously, 

Take my advice ! 

Better on earth to stay, 

Take my advice ! 
Than rashly blow away. 

Take my advice ! 
Man was not made for wings. 
Though to the thought he clings — 
Stick to substantial things ! 

Take my advice ! 

(£;^^^r Doctor.) 

Doctor. Well, Miss Coddlington, he's doing pretty 
well. Keep the bandages over his eyes. Love is 
always blind, you know. Ready, Miss Pettit? 
We'll start at once. 

(Mary and Doctor go out.) 

Kate. You might know Mary Pettit would get all the 
good times ! 

(Doctor returns hurriedly.) 

Doctor. I forgot my gloves ! Here they are. (Picks 
up gauntlets from table.) Forgive me, Miss 
Coddlington. I'm sorry if I carried my joking too 
far, and I wish I might have given you a spin! 
Good-morning ! 

(Exit Doctor.) 
i8 



IN THE AIR 

Kate. He's certainly a dear man ! I don't believe my 
damaged flyer can come up to him if he is young 
and rich. But I must get to work. (Goes to 
stand and finds card on latest box. Reading card.) 
" Love and sympathy from Louise.'' I suppose I 
must keep Margaret and Louise apart. They 
might not like it to be put together. I must get 
another jar or they may make one. (Exit Kate. 
While absent, bell rings. Enter Jimmy with two 
boxes and plant. Stands waiting. Enter Kate 
with jar.) How did you get in? Who are all 
those things for ? 

Jimmy. For Mr. Thomas Flyaway, or something of 
the sort. Sign, please ! 

Kate. Set them on that stand, won't you? (Kate 
signs. Exit Jimmy.) Well, the new patient is 
certainly popular. {Reading cards.) '' Dear Mr. 
Onthewing, with the sincere regards of Mabel 

B " " Tommy love, with oceans of affection 

from Nell." {On plant.) '' Here's rosemary for 
remembrance. Lovingly, Sue." Sue's the wisest, 
for her offering can't be put in with any of the 
others. Fm sorry, Mabel and Nell, but as my 
supply of jars is limited, Fll have to double you 
up ; and it won't make any difference to him, dear 
man, for the only word on his lips has been "An- 
gel." That might apply to any one of them, 
though ! I wonder which one it is, after all ? 
Whether the angel is Margaret, or Louise, or 
Mabel, or Nell, or Sue? Or could he mean it for 
me? {Sings.) 



" SOMETIMES " 

(Tune, ''My Bonnie/') 

I never have dreamed much of flying, 
Nor cared to look down on mankind ; 

Oh, never for wings Fve been sighing, 
Nor for a balloon have I pined ! 
19 



IN THE AIM 

Refrain — Yet sometimes — sometimes — 

Sometimes Tve thought and my thoughts have 
flown, 
Sometimes — Sometimes — 
I've thought I was rather alone ! 

I never have dreamed much of loving; 

Tve never had time to rehearse, 
The language that lovers find moving. 

And sweet as a valentine's verse ! (Refrain.) 

I never have dreamed much of travel. 
Nor thought that the world I must see ; 

Nor have I yet tried to unravel 

Why nobody comes to see me. (Refrain.) 

(Bell rings. Enter Etheria and Benjamin.) 

Etheria. Oh, isn't it awful to come to such a place? 

It makes me shiver, Benny. 
Benjamin (to Kate). We have a friend who has 

been brought here. We've called to see him, 

ma'am. 
Kate. What is the name, please ? 
Benjamin. Benjamin Franklin Brown. 
Kate (searching record book). Brown! Brown! Is 

it Mrs. Jeremiah Brown or Samuel Alexander 

Brown ? 
Benjamin. Neither of those — just Benjamin F. 

Brown. 
Kate. I'm sorry, but he isn't here. 
Etheria. Oh, yes, he's here ! 

Kate (haughtily) . I think I know who is in the hos- 
pital. 
Benjamin. Well, ma'am, you don't know me, for 

I'm B. F. Brown, all right. 
Kate. I thought you said you wanted to see Mr. 

Brown. Who is your friend ? 
Benjamin (promptly introducing Etheria). My 

friend, Miss Etheria Eane. 

20 



IN THE AIR 

Kate. Glad to meet you, Miss Lane, but who is the 

friend you expected to find here ? 
Etheria. Oh, he's a real aviator, you know, and I 

came very near going up with him. 
Benjamin. You'd just as well say you came near 

coming down with him. (To Kate.) We v/ant 

to see Mr. Onthewing. 
Kate. I'm sorry to say no one is permitted to see him 

this morning. (Bell rings.) Excuse me, there's 



his bell now ! 



(Exit Kate.) 



Etheria. Benny, you're real cross to-day. You 
snapped me up terribly before that nurse ! 

Benjamin. Anyhow, I'm sure I told the truth. You 
were about as near to coming down with him as 
you were to going up. You needn't call me cross, 
Etheria. If it wasn't for me, you'd be lying on a 
cot in this hospital this minute! 

Etheria. Oh ! 

Benjamin. Lying with your legs broken! 

Etheria. Oh ! 

Benjamin. And your arms broken! 

Etheria. Oh ! 

Benjamin. And your nose broken! 

Etheria. Oh! Oh! 

Benjamin. And your neck broken ! 

Etheria. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! I think you're perfectly 
dreadful, Benjamin Brown, and I'm not going to 
stay another minute ! 

(Etheria runs off. Enter Kate.) 

Kate. Has Miss Lane gone? I'm sorry you can't see 
Mr. Onthewing, but he's so bandaged that it 
would be no comfort to you. 

Benjamin. I'm sorry, too. I would so like to see all 
sides of the aviation question. I'd like to study all 
the results. There's one thing about being poor — 
if you can't get the thrills out of a kite that you 

21 



IN THE AIB 

can out of an aeroplane, the kite can't break you 
into as many pieces. 

{Exit Benjamin. Enter Jimmy with suit-case.) 

Kate. Who is that for? 

Jimmy. Name on tag. Sign, please ! 

Kate {signing), I wonder what's in this? {Exit 
Jimmy. Kate reads tag.) '' Miss A. Terrafirma." 
Must be some mistake. No patient of that name. 
Why, it must belong to the heiress who lives in 
the big house on the Square. I wonder if I ought 
to open it, in case there is any explanation inside ? 
{Handles lock.) 

{Enter Angelica.) 

Angelica. Good-morning ! So my luggage has come ! 

Kate. Good-morning! Are you Miss Terrafirma? 

Angelica. I am. 

Kate. Have you engaged your room? What opera- 
tion do you expect ? 

Angelica. I hope none will be necessary ! 

Kate. Aren't you coming for an operation? 

Angelica. Oh, dear me, no ! 

Kate. Perhaps you wish to take the rest cure? 

Angelica. Scarcely that. To tell the truth, I wish to 
become a nurse. 

Kate. A nurse ! Have you been admitted by the ex- 
amining board ? 

Angelica. Indeed not; and I don't intend to be. 
That's what I want to avoid. Would you kindly 
tell me your name ? 

Kate. I am Kate Coddlington. 

Angelica. Well, Miss Coddlington, I hope we shall 
be friends. I have a little matter I should like to 
talk over with you. 

{Bell rings. Enter Jimmy, with box tied up in white 
paper and ribbons.) 

Jimmy. Another for that Onthewing fellow. Sign, 

please ! 
Kate {signs. Exit Jimmy) . My ! this is a dainty one, 

22 



IN THE AIR 



and written on the outside : '' Dearest Tom, from 
Eleanor." 

Angelica. I beg pardon. Has Mr. Onthewing re- 
ceived many such boxes ? 

Kate. Just what you see there, Miss Terrahrma. 
(Points to side table.) Do you happen to know 
him? 

(Bell rings. Enter Jimmy. While Kate attends to 
his wants, Angelica steps to stand and reads 
cards on various boxes. Enter Archie ; Angel- 
ica recognizes him rather coldly, and they remain 
as if conversing.) 

Jimmy. 'Tisn't a box this time ! It's a note ; and I 
was to say particularly that it was to go in the box 
of flowers which was sent this morning. {Wink- 
ing at Kate.) I told her you'd be sure to get it 
in, as probably there wasn't but one box ! Oh, 
my! (Jimmy and Kate laugh heartily. Jimmy, 
suddenly serious. ) Sign, please ! 

(Kate signs. Exit Jimmy, followed by Kate with 
box. Archie and Angelica coming forward.) 

Archie. I am sorry you feel 1 am so much to blame 

for Tom's accident. 
Angelica. I am sure I don't see how I could feel 

otherwise. If it had not been for you, he would 

never have become so infatuated with the air 

Archie. But, really, his infatuation wasn't so much 

for the air 

Angelica {interrupting). Not for the air? Well, 

for the aeroplane, then ! 
Archie. My dear young lady, believe me, the aero- 
plane was only the means to an end. 
Angelica. It reached the end very rapidly, for it 

soon brought poor Tom out of the clouds and 

landed him on hard ground. 
Archie. Excuse me, I must not linger, but, believe 

me, Tom only ventured into the air in order to win 

Terrafirma more rapidly ! 

(Archie hurries off. Enter Kate.) 
23 



IN THE AIR 

Angelica. Such rudeness cannot be borne. How 
disgusting to joke at such a time ! 

Kate. You were saying that you wanted to talk with 
me. 

Angelica. Indeed I do! Can't we sit down ? {Both 
seat themselves.) To begin with, I must tell you 
that I know Mr. Onthewing very intimately. In- 
deed, I am practically engaged to him, and I am 
determined to take care of him. That is why I 
said I wish to become a nurse. I must nurse him, 
and I want you to help rne ! 

Kate. You must nurse him ? How romantic ! Then 
you want me to give up the case ? That would be 
very unprofessional, I am sure. 

Angelica. Just listen to my plan. I am sure you 
would love to run down to Atlantic City, or Cape 
May, or some of those places, for a week or ten 
days; wouldn't you? It would do you so much 
good ! It would be such a rest and change ! 

Kate. Oh, those vacation trips cost too much. 

Angelica. Don't speak of cost! Til attend to all 
that ! It shan't cost you a cent ! All I want you 
to do is to go ! But first I want you to let me have 
some of your uniforms, and in exchange you will 
find at my home a number of gowns you can use 
on your trip. Of course you can't go to-day! 
You must tell me just what I'm to do, first; just 
what I'm to say to the Doctor, and all that. 

(Angelica sings. Tune — "Mush-mush'' without re- 
frain. ) 

THE ANT AND THE BUTTERFLY 

Twas an Ant who'd known toil and vexation 

Who had always had more work to do, 
And she needed a little vacation — 

May I tell you the "Ant '' stands for you? 
Oh, a change from the ant-hill she needed, 

Relief from the duties that pressed ; 
So her friend's wiser counsel she heeded, 

And decided she would take a rest ! 

24 



IN THE AIR 

Kate (sings) — 

Twas a Butterfly who had sipped honey, 

Who came to the Ant one fine day, 
And she offered her wings and her money — 

You know who she is, I dare say ! 
And the Ant felt Hke young Cinderella, 

Her wants by a fairy supplied ; 
*Twould take little persuasion to tell her 

That the Butterfly's plan must be tried ! 

Kate and Angelica (sing) — 

Twas for wings that the Ant had been yearning, 

Though she never had known it till then ; 
And she feels as their use she is learning, 

That she'll ne'er do without them again ! 
And the Butterfly's wooing a duty 

Where wings only get in the way : 
She'll no longer rely on mere beauty. 

For work is best mingled with play. 

Kate. But the Superintendent will never consent. 

Angelica. Oh, bother! Never mind the Superin- 
tendent ! 1 simply change places with you. I be- 
come Miss Coddlington, of the Hospital, and you 
become for a week Miss Terrafirma. Here's a 
check for five hundred to see you through (hands 
check), Rnd the gowns are ready, with my maid 
waiting to help you try them on. There's one 
" dream " of a white lace over pale blue, that will 
just suit you. 

Kate. We're about the same size, I think. (Measur- 
ing Angelica with apron.) But suppose it were 
discovered! If the Superintendent or the Doctor 
should find out I had left my work ! 

Angelica. Oh, I'll settle the bill somehow ! There's 
the sweetest dancing frock, corn color with pearl 
embroidery, in which you'll look like an angel ! 

Kate:. Like an angel ! That's what Mr. Onthewing 
has been calling me. It is always ''Angel " this^ 
and "Angel " that ! 



IN THE AIB 

Angelica. Oh, he thought you were me ! That's my 
name, you know, Angehca; and he always short- 
ens it to Angel. All the better if he thinks I am 
with him. {Aside,) But how could he make such 
a mistake? (To Kate.) Is he delirious all the 
time ? 

Kate. Not at all. But he's blindfolded, because it's 
the only way to keep the bandages on his head. 

Angelica. Well, will you be ready to start to-night ? 
Let's go to your room. I can get into a uniform 
of yours, and you can begin instructions. 

Kate. Perhaps Mary Pettit won't have all the good 
times after all. I can't make up my mind. Did 
you say the corn color dress was silk or satin? 

Angelica. Crepe de chine. I hear a man's step in 
the hall. Come, Miss Coddlington, there isn't a 
minute to lose. 

(Angelica puts her arm in Kate's, takes suit-case. 
Both exeunt. Enter Dr. Dexter.) 

Doctor. I thought I heard Kate Coddlington's voice ! 
{Listens at door,) She's certainly not far away. 
(Calls.) Miss Coddlington! Miss Coddlington! 

Kate (outside). Who is it? I can't come just now. 
I am engaged. 

Doctor. Doctor Dexter wants to see you a moment 
when you are at liberty. (Doctor seats himself 
and takes up newspaper.) It is a mystery to me 
why these fellows must be so venturesome. And 
yet, after all, there's compensation in coming 
down so suddenly, if you can fall into the hands 
of a nurse like Kate. 

(Enter Kate.) 

Kate. Why, Doctor, I thought you were at the other 
end of the park ! 

Doctor. No, I sent Miss Pettit over in my car to 
look after a nervous old lady. She's mixed up In 
this aviation accident, too. It seems her son, 
Archie Thorpe, owned the wrecked machine ; and 

26 



m THE AIR 

when she heard it had dropped, she took It for 
granted that Archie was in it and promptly went 
into hysterics, refusing to Hsten to any explana- 
tions. 

Kate. How unfortunate! 

Doctor. I thought Miss Pettit might calm her down 
after a while and persuade her that her son had 
not tried that particular flight. And I told Archie 
to turn up at home, so Miss Pettit could produce 
him, in proof of her story. 

Kate. How much trouble is caused by these new 
inventions ! 

Doctor. Yes. They have a useful side, too, though 
some of the worst dangers are hidden. 

Kate. Why, what do you mean? 

Doctor. Ah, Miss Coddlington, it isn't only the one 
who drops from the clouds who is hurt ! Even 
you might be involved without leaving the hos- 
pital. 

Kate. I! How! 

Doctor. I only want to warn you. Aviators may 
not be least dangerous when bandaged and blind- 
folded. 

Kate. Oh, my patient has never been delirious, not 
at all violent. 

Doctor. I scarcely like to trust you with him, never- 
theless. You mustn't get too interested in him, 
Kate. 

Kate. Dr. Dexter! You forget yourself. Nothing 
would induce me to be so unprofessional ! {Bell 
rings.) There, he's ringing now! 

Doctor. It would be unprofessional to keep you 
from your duty! (Doctor bows as Kate exits.) 
Every time I try to speak to her I am balked in 
some way. 

{Bell rings. Enter Jimmy with telegram.) 

Jimmy. For Dr. John Dexter. Sign, please. 

(Doctor tears open envelope and reads message.) 

27 



IN THE AIR 

Doctor. Well, this means I shan't see Kate again for 
a week. Too bad Tm called to Chicago just at 
this minute ! 

Jimmy. Sign, please! 

Doctor (^ignoring Jimmy). When I come back I'll 
try it differently. Perhaps the aviator may help 
me without being aware of it. I'll leave orders 
to keep him in the dark, with his eyes bandaged 
till I get back ! 

Jimmy {impatiently). Sign, please! 

(Doctor signs as curtain falls.) 



CURTAIN 



28 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Private room in hospital a week later. 
Tom on cot, head and eyes bandaged. Angelica, 
as nurse, bringing in tray, which she sets on table 
beside cot. 

Angelica. I've brought you some nice, hot soup, Mr. 
Onthewing, and a little toast. And when youVe 
been very good and eaten this all up, Til bring 
you some ice-cream. 

Tom. You are very kind. You remind me so much 
of a dear friend of mine. She's the sweetest girl 
in the world, too. 

Angelica. Fm glad I remind you of something 
pleasant. 

Tom. The point in which you are most like her is 
that you are so often urging me to eat something ! 

Angelica. Yes? But you must eat to keep up your 
strength. {Feeds him with spoonfuls of soup.) 
Now Fve a cheerful surprise for you. After 
you've had a nap, when the doctor comes in, 
you're to take the bandage from your eyes. I 
wonder what you'll see first? And I'm sure it 
will look strange to you, after being blindfolded 
for a week ! 

Tom. I shall be glad to see you. There is something 
curiously familiar about your voice, and I feel 
as if I had known you a long time. But really, 
the first person I should like best to see is Miss 
Angelica Terrafirma. 

Angelica. Perhaps we can arrange even that, if 
you try not to get too much excited beforehand. 

29 



IN THE AIR 

If you do, your eyes may be affected and you may 
not be able to see straight. Is that enough soup ? 
Tom. Enough, and to spare ! Now, I suppose I must 
take the nap you spoke of. You need not trou- 
ble about the ice-cream this time. Til look for- 
ward to a glimpse of Angelica for dessert. 

{Settles himself on pillow and gradually falls asleep. 
Angelica pulls down shade, darkening stage 
somewhat. Enter Mary.) 

Mary. Oh, Kate, Tve come back, and so much has 
happened ! 

Angelica {pointing to cot). Hush! Hush! He's 
just dropping off ! 

Mary. Oh, when will you be free? I simply can't 
wait ! I've only a few minutes to be away. The 
old lady was asleep and Mr. Thorpe brought me 
over in his motor. You know he's sold his aero- 
plane and bought a touring car, because I said 
whatever happened I should never dare to fly. 

Angelica. Whatever happened? Why, what did 
you expect to happen? 

Mary {in some confusion). Oh, I meant in any 
emergency — if we had to send for a doctor— or 
needed oxygen — or anything of that sort. 

Angelica. I should think an aeroplane would be just 
the thing to send for oxygen! But we mustn't 
talk here. I'll step into the corridor with you. 

{They go out. Enter Archie.) 

Archie. Miss Pettit^ Miss Pettit! Mary! I think 
we must be starting! My! here I am bursting 
into poor Tom's room because I'd forgotten every- 
thing except — well, except my hurry! {Goes to 
cot.) Fortunate thing the old chap is such a 
sound sleeper. I'd hate to waken him. But how 
he will chaff me about selling my aeroplane ! I'll 
make him think his fall frightened me into it. 
I'll never tell him a girl's whim had anything to 

30 



7A" THE AIR 



do with it. Good-bye, old boy! Have a good 



nap! 

{Exit Archie. Enter Angelica.) 

Angelica. How queerly that nurse looked at me. 
She must have thought I was losing my senses 
by the way she said : " Why, Kate, you can't have 
forgotten our talks, and yet you look at me as if 
you didn't even know who I am. Are you sick ? " 
It was a good thing the corridor was so dark and 
that Archie Thorpe came along and claimed her 
complete attention. {A knock.) Come in! 
{Enter Dr. Dexter.) Good-afternoon, Doctor. 
I did not know you had returned. 

Doctor. I am so glad to find you here, Miss Cod- 
dlington. I wanted to consult you about remov- 
ing your patient's bandages. Dr. Porter said he 
had suggested it. {Goes toward cot.) 

Angelica. But Mr. Onthewing is sound asleep, and 
I think we had better not startle him by any sud- 
den wakening. 

Doctor. You are right, as usual. We will not rouse 
him. But I am glad to find you here. There's 
another matter about which I would like your 
help — yes — your encouragement. I was called 
away suddenly a week ago, and I never had a 
chance to finish what I had begun to say to you. 

Angelica {aside). What had I better take it for 
granted he was talking about? {To Doctor.) 
Certainly, with pleasure. 

Doctor. You are good to be so cordial. 

Angelica. I only hope you were not going to discuss 
any aeronautical problems. They are too distress- 
ing when one is face to face with results. What 
good can ever come to anyone by trying to fly, 
and then falling flat among broken blades and 
twisted machinery? As long as you leave out the 
air I shall be glad to talk with you. 

Doctor. But, Kate, suppose I should talk of flight? 

Angelica. No. I refuse to talk of flight, but I may 
take refuge in it, if you are not careful. 

31 



IN- THE AIR 

Doctor {sings, gradually approaching Angelica, 
mistaking her still for Kate.) 

" THE FLIGHT OF TIME '' 

(Tune — ''Old Oaken Bucket'') 

Oh, talk not of flight, as if flying would scare you, 
There's nothing so strange in my flying machine ! 
The aeroplane, monoplane, biplane, I spare you ; 
Just sit by my side, and you'll see what I mean. 
I am taking a flight, and I w^ant you to steer me. 
Oh, don't draw away, and pretend you're afraid ! 
There's nothing to fear, if you only keep near me; 
The car is the safest that ever was made! 

Refrain 

The car is the safest, the surest, the strongest, 
The flight is the longest that ever was made ! 

Don't start when I tell you already we've started. 
We're far on our way, and the crowd's left behind. 
From all but ourselves we are sundered and parted ; 
I need no one else, and I hope you don't mind ! 
There's surely no danger unless you upset me. 
Sit quiet and close, till I finish my rhyme ; 
I'm longing to take you, if only you'll let me, 
To share with me always the swift flight of time! 

Refrain 

The flight that is safest and surest and fleetest ! 
'Tis yours to make sweetest the swift flight of time. 

(Angelica tries to draw away. At close of first 
stanza Tom rouses, sits up quietly, tiirning to 
Doctor and Angelica. Fumbles with bandage 
and at last pidls it off. Stares, rubbing eyes. As 
Doctor ends Tom jumps up, clad in long bath- 
robe, left arm in sling, etc.) 

32 



IN THE AIR 

Tom. Angelica! (Angelica and Doctor turn to- 
ward him, startled.) Angelica! You here? 

Angelica. Tom ! Tom, be calm — be quiet ! You'll 
harm yourself. 

Doctor. Mr. Onthewing, you are laboring under a 
delusion ! 

Angelica, No ! Dr. Dexter, the delusion is yours ! 
I am not Miss Coddlington as you suppose. 

(Angelica goes to window and raises shade.) 

Doctor. Heavens! Not Miss Coddlington! How 
can that be? I was told she still had charge of 
this case ! 

Tom. I can't understand it. Angel ! Though you said 
things might look strange to me at first — and 
they certainly do ! 

Angelica. Lie down again, Tom, and Fll try to ex- 
plain to you and the Doctor together. 

(Angelica goes to help Tom. Kate enters suddenly 
in street dress.) 

Kate. Is the Doctor taking you to task, dear Miss 
Terrafirma? Let me explain and take all the 
blame ! 

Doctor. Kate ! What has happened ? 

Kate. Have you only just gotten your eyes open? 

Tom. I guess that's it! 

Angelica. Dr. Dexter has been away for a week. 

Kate. Away for a week? So he has only just dis- 
covered my absence ? 

Doctor. Have you been away, too? Then you have 
received none of my letters? 

Kate. Letters ! No ! I never received any ! 

Angelica {who has been settling Tom on cot, takes 
package from pocket). They are safe here. 
Perhaps you had better read them elsewhere while 
I quiet my patient. The Doctor may need some 
soothing, too. And I have a story to tell Mr. On- 
thewing that may divert him a little. 

(Kate and Doctor exeunt together.) 

33 



IN TEE AIR 

Tom. Oh, Angel ! And it is you who have been with 
me all this time ! 

Angelica. Yes, Tom, and weren't you stupid enough 
not to find it out before ! 

Tom. But that Doctor! What right has he to talk 
in that way to you? How dare he ask you to 
steer his flight for him? And if you think so 
much of him, why are you taking care of me? Is 
it just so you can see more of him? 

Angelica. Why, I never laid eyes on him before. I 
only knew his name because Fd been told he was 
coming back to-day after a week's vacation. 

Tom. But why are you here in that dress ? 

Angelica. Well, you see. Miss Coddlington needed 
a rest, and I thought I might act as her substitute 
for a few days. 

Tom. Why, what do you know about nursing? 

Angelica. That's a nice question. When I've been 
taking care of you for a week ! 

Tom. Forgive me, Angelica, but I can't help feeling 
confused. I last saw you on the aviation field. I 
left you to make the flight I'd set my heart on. 
I must have been flying in a circle, because I've 
brought up beside you again. 

{A knock. Enter Etheria and Benjamin.) 

Benjamin. We were told Mr. Onthewing could re- 
ceive visitors this afternoon. 

Etheria. You know, I came very near going up 
with you, or as Benny says I ought to say, I 
came just as near coming down with you. 

Tom. Oh, you're the young people who were in the 
tent eating lunch ? It's very kind of you to come 
in. I'm glad to see you, but I'm not much to look 
at, myself. 

Benjamin. Oh, yes, you are. Fm studying aviation, 
you know, and I want to understand it from be- 
ginning to end. 

Etheria. Fm studying, too; so we can be together. 

Angelica. In what part are you especially inter- 
ested? 

34 



IN THE AlB 

Etheria. I'm thinking and planning how a woman 
can dress so she won't look blown to pieces when 
she lands. You see the landing may be sudden, 
so she has no chance to fix herself at all, and it's 
a pretty serious matter to know what she'd better 
wear. 

Angelica. I should think so ! 

" WHAT TO WEAR " 

{Tune — ''Bonnie Doon") 

Etheria sings — 

If when one flew she always went 

Straight up and on, quite free from care! 
If flight were just a plain ascent, 

She might discover what to wear ! 

Refrain 

Oh, first it's up, then sideways, so — 
You may turn round — or over — next! 

Yet soon or late you downward go — 
No wonder that one feels perplexed ! 

Oh, winds are strong, and skirts will flap, 
In spite of tailor's well-used skill; 

And hair will slip from snuggest cap. 
And straggle, wisp-like, at its will! 

(Refrain as before.) 

Benjamin. As I was saying, I'm trying to be 
thorough. I want to go from beginning to end, 
and I thought when you came to grief, I^d a 
pretty good chance to finish my education. Tak- 
ing Ben Franklin as a beginning, I thought I'd 
come to an end when you fell down ; but you don't 
seem to have ended yet, so Til just have to call it 
one more chapter, and write underneath : ** To 
be concluded." 

Tom. It would be more cheerful to say: " To be con- 
tinued.'' Good-bye to you both. Come in again, 

35 



IN THE AIR 

IenjImin. }Good-bye! {Exeunt.) 

Tom. I can't help returning to the old question, why 
and how are you here, Angelica ? 

Angelica. Dear me ! I don't know that there is any- 
thing so remarkable about my trying to be useful 
once in a while. 

Tom {sits up), I want you to tell me the real reason, 
because it makes all the difference in the world 
how you answer it. 

Angelica. Is it such a serious matter? 

Tom. It is serious. 

Angelica. I can't tell you, Tom. You'll have to 
guess it. 

Tom. Then I'll not ask you, Angelica ; but I will ask 
you to sing to me, and perhaps by the time you've 
finished the song, I'll have finished guessing. 

Angelica. There's a guitar in Miss Coddlington's 
room. I'll get it. 

{Exit Angelica. Tom lies back, closes eyes. Enter 

Perkins.) 

Perkins. Is Miss Terrafirma here, sir? 

Tom {opening eyes). Oh, Perkins, is that you? I 
wonder if you've brought a hamper this time ? 

Perkins. No, sir. No hamper, I came to get Miss 
Angelica's luggage. 

Tom. Why, where's she going? 

Perkins. Going home, sir ! 

Tom. Oh pshaw ! She isn't going to leave me alone 
here, is she? 

Perkins. All I know, sir, is that I had orders to 
come for her luggage this afternoon. And cook 
had orders for a special dinner, to-night. And 
Miss Angelica's mother, she's expecting a gentle- 
man visitor who's been sick. So I guess those 
things all fit together. 

Tom. Well, Perkins, I hope they do, but I don't quite 
see it. 

{Enter Angelica with guitar.) 
36 



IN THE AIR 

Angelica. You here, Perkins, so soon? 

Perkins. Yes, Miss Angelica, Tve come for your 

luggage. 
Angelica. Pm sorry it isn't quite ready. Just go 

down to the reception room for a while, and Pll 

ring when I need you. 

{Exit Perkins.) 

Tom. You're not going to leave me alone, Angelica, 
just as Pve realized you're here? 

Angelica. Don't you worry, Tom. Rest comfort- 
ably while I sing. 

{She pulls afghan over his feet. Then takes up guitar 

and sings.) 

" LOVE AND TIME " 

{Tune — '' Auld Lang Syne!*) 

Ere aviation was in vogue 

And none but birds could fly 

Love bought a pair of wings, the rogue, 

And thought a flight he'd try. 

He darted here — he darted there — 

From heart to heart he flew ! 

The fascination of the air 

Was something strange and new. 

Then Father Time soon fixed in place 

A pair of wings, as well ; 

And when with Love he'd sometimes race 

Most wondrous things befell. 

When Time would win, one could but see 

Poor Love was left behind ! 

How sad to think that this could be, 

Or Time prove so unkind ! 

" rU race no more," said Love one day, 
** Nor risk these sudden spills ; 

It isn't fair that men should pay 

My aviation bills ! 

37 



IN THE AIR 

I'd rather be more sure of things 
Than have a bird's eye view ! '' 
And so, he's folded up his wings 
And come to stay with you ! 

{Enter Archie and Mary m high spirits,) 

Archie. What was that last line I heard, about stay- 
ing with you, Tom ? Hello, old fellow ! Good- 
afternoon, Miss Terrafirma! May I introduce 
a gift from the air — Miss Mary Pettit ! 

Angelica {crossing to Mary, shaking hands cor- 
dially). I think we have met before, though un- 
der a slight misapprehension. 

Tom. a gift from the air? How's that, Archie? 

Archie. If it hadn't been for the aeroplane and your 
fall and my mother's fright because she thought 
it was I who had dropped; if it hadn't been for 
this attempted conquest of the air, I'd never have 
fallen heir to Miss Pettit's heart and hand! So 
you see. Miss Terrafirma, I've won a good deal 
more than " empty applause." 

{Laughs, bowing to Angelica.) 

Tom. Congratulations, old chap! And I — I've won 

all I'd hoped, and more. But I can't tell you all 

about it just yet. 
Angelica {to Mary). Have you seen Miss Cod- 

dlington yet? 
Mary. Not here, but I thought Dr. Dexter's car 

passed us in the park, and he seemed to be taking 

her to a new case. 
Tom. rU wager that he's the patient then! 

{During the following conversation Perkins appears 
at door. Angelica speaks with him and Per- 
kins shortly disappears again. Knock, enter 
Doctor and Kate.) 

Mary {running to Kate, embracing her). Oh, Kate! 
You can't imagine what has happened! 

38 



IN THE AIR 

Kate. I can ! but you can't ! I caught a glimpse of 
you both in the park. 

Doctor. Mr. Onthewing, I hope this excitement is 
not too much for you? 

Tom. I can stand it, Doctor, if you can. From your 
beaming smile, I am sure you, too, are to be con- 
gratulated. 

(Doctor goes to cot. They shake hands warmly.) 

Doctor. Yes, I'm thoroughly in favor of aviation. 

Kate. So am I ! 

Doctor. If it hadn't been for that aeroplane and its 
intercepted flight, I should not have found the 
way to win a certain thing I was longing for ! 

{Enter with a rush, Benjamin and Etheria.) 

Benjamin. Say, Mr. Onthewing, I'm going to write 
"to be continued," after. all! For Mr. Thorpe 
has engaged me to help him with his latest ma- 
chine, which he's building to make a new record. 
He's bound to conquer the air, and Etheria and 
I will back him up in it ! 

Tom. Good for you, Benjamin! 

Etheria. And I'll have a chance to go up with him, 
as soon as I've finished the model for a lady- 
aviator's costume. 

Tom. Angelica, can't we call Perkins, and ask him 
to fetch a hamper? Seems to me there was never 
a more propitious moment for his appearance. 

Angelica. Are you really hungry at la3t? 

Tom. Only for another sight of you. But some 
wedding cake and ice-cream would be appropriate 
and acceptable to all the others, I am sure. 

Angelica. Your eye has been so long trained for a 
bird's eye view, that Fm astonished you haven't 
already seen Perkins coming. 

{Enter Perkins with hamper.) 

Perkins. The hamper's a bit heavy. Miss Angelica. 

{Enter Jimmy, with large, long box.) 

39 



IN THE AIR 

Jimmy. Package for Mr. Onthewing. Sign, please! 
Angelica. You may unpack the hamper, Perkins, 

Wedding cake usually is heavy. It's meant to 

celebrate anchorage in a safe harbor. 
Tom. We're glad to be anchored, Angelica, but don't 

forget all that the air has done for us — how much 

it has given us ! 
Jimmy. Package for Mr. Onthewing. Sign, please ! 
Angelica. Tom, if that is another box of flowers, 

you'll certainly have to explain why you have so 

many devoted girl friends. 
Tom. Then PU just quote that first verse you sang 

for me a while ago, about Love trying his wings : 

" He darted here — he darted there — 
From heart to heart he flew ! 
The fascination of the air 
Was something strange and new." 

Angelica. That may be very well to account for the 
past, but how about the future? 

Tom. Pll have to use another verse for that: "For 
Love has folded up his wings; And come to stay 
with you ! " But I don't believe this is flowers. 

{Opens box and takes out model of aeroplane, which 
he holds up. All exclaim "' What a beauty! Isn't 
that fine! " etc.) 

Archie. Perhaps Pd better explain a little. This is 
the model of my latest and most improved aero- 
plane. Since I owe so much to Tom and his great 
flight ^ 

All {interrupting). So do we! So do we! 

Archie. Since we all owe so much to Tom, I have 
decided to call this the " Onthewing Model ! " 

All. Hurrah ! Hurrah ! Good for you ! 

Archie. Especially as I have succeeded in perfect- 
ing a new landing device, which cannot fail to 
bring the conqueror of the air safely and surely 
to Terrafirma! 

40 



IN THE AIR 

{All sing. Tune — "" There is a Tavern in Our 
Town/') 

" THE CASTLE IN THE AIR " 

I — In this new plane who would not fly, on the wing, 
None other carries one so high, on the wing! 
And none so safely lands at last. 
In spite of every baffling blast ! 

Chorus 

Oh, since Love his flight attempted 

None from flying is exempted, 
Yet there always will be some who don't know how 
to steer. 

Don't blame the rest, if these incompetent appear. 
They need to study aviation, that is clear ! 

We all have built our castles in the air! 

So let us fly together there ! 

2 — When some their knowledge would display, on the 
wing 
The air is trackless, so they say, on the wing, 
Yet we have found the course is plain. 
Our castle's portal to attain! (Chorus,) 



CURTAIN 



41 



Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

GRADUATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six 
males and four females, with several minor parts. Time of 
playing, two hours. Modern costumes. Simple interior scenes ^j 
may be presented in a hall without scenery. The unusual com- 
bination of a real "entertainment,'* including music, recitations, 
etc., with an interesting love story. The graduation exercises 
include short speeches, recitations, songs, funny interruptions, 
and a comical speech by a country school trustee. 

EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight mal«s 
and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. 
Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos- 
tumes, modern. Miss Marks, the teacher, refuses to marry a 
trustee, who ^threatens to discharge her. The examination in- 
cludes recitations and songs, and brings out many funny answers 
to questions. At the close Robert Coleman, an old lover, claims 
the teacher. Very easy and very effective. 

BACK TO THE COUNTRY STORE. A Rural Enter- 
tainment in Three Acts, by Ward Macauley. For four male 
and five female characters, with some supers. Time, two hours. 
Two scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. All the principal parts are 
sure hits. Quigley Higginbotham, known as "Quig," a clerk in 
a country store, aspires to be a great author or singer and 
decides to try his fortunes in New York. The last scene is in 
Quig's home. He returns a failure but is offered a partnership 
in the country store. He pops the question in the midst of a 
surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. 

THE DISTRICT CONVENTION. A Farcical Sketch 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one 
female, or twelve males. Any number of other parts or super- 
numeraries may be added. Plays forty-five minutes. No special 
^scenery is required, and the costumes and properties are all 
easy. The play shows an uproarious political nominating con- 
vention. The climax comes when a woman's rights cham- 
pion, captures the convention. There is a great chance to bur- 
lesque modern politics and to work in local gags. Every 
part will make a hit. 

SI SLOCUM'S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female 
characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. 
Plays one hour. Interior scene, or may be played without set 
scenery. Costumes, modern. The rehearsal for an entertain- 
ment in the village church gives plenty of opportunity for 
specialty work. A very jolly entertainment of the sort adapted 
to almost any place or occasion. 

THE PENN PUBUSHING COMPANY 
»iai.ADE;iJPHlA 



Onusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

A SURPRISE PARTY AT BRINKLEY'S. An En« 

tertainment in One Scene, by Ward Macauley. Seven male and 
seven female characters. Interior scene, or may be given with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. Time, one hour. By the 
lauthor of the popular successes, "Graduation Day at Wood Hill 
School," **Back to the Country Store," etc. The villagers have 
Splanned a birthday surprise party for Mary Brinkley, recently 
graduated from college. They all join in jolly games, songs, 
'conundrums, etc., and Mary becomes engaged, which surprise! 
the surprisers. The entertainment is a sure success. 

JONES VS. JINKS. A Mock Trial in One Act, by 
Edward Mum ford. Fifteen male and six female characters, with 
supernumeraries if desired. May be played all male. Many of the 
parts (members of the jury, etc.) are small. Scene, a simple 
interior ; may be played without scenery. Costumes, modern. 
Time of playing, one hour. This mock trial has many novel 
features, unusual characters and quick action. Nearly every 
character has a funny entrance and laughable lines. There are 
many rich parts, and fast fun throughout. 

THE SIGHT-SEEING CAR. A Comedy Sketch in One 
Act, by Ernest M. Gould. For seven males, two females, or 
tuay be all male. Parts may be doubled, with quick changes, so 
that four persons may play the sketch. Time, forty-five minutes. 
Simple street scene. Costumes, modern. The superintendent 
of a sight-seeing automobile engages t^ ' men to run the 
machine. A Jew, a farmer, a fat lady a^^ other humorous 
characters give them all kinds of trouble This is a regular gat- 
ling-gun stream of rollicking repartee. 

THE CASE OF SMYTHE VS. SMITH. An Original 
Mock Trial in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eighteen males 
and two females, or may be all male. Plays about one hour. 
Scene, a county courtroom ; requires no scenery ; may be played 
in an ordinary hall. Costumes, modern. This entertainment is 
nearly perfect of its kind, and a sure success. It can be easily 
produced in any place or on any occasion, and provides almost 
any number of good parts. 

THE OLD MAIDS' ASSOCIATION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment in One Act, by Louise Latham Wilson. For thirteen 
females and one male. The male part may be played by a 
female, and the number of characters increased to twenty or^ 
I more. Time, forty minutes. The play requires neither scenery? 
nor properties, and vei-y little in the way of costumes. Can 
easily be prepared in one or two rehearsals. 

BARGAIN DAY AT BLOOMSTEIN'S. A Farcical 
Entertainment in One Act, by Edward Mumford. For five males 
and ten females, with supers. Interior scene. Costumes, mod- 
ern. Time, thirty minutes. The characters and the situations 
which arise from their endeavors to buy and sell make rapid^ir^ 
fun from start to finish. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 



Successful Plays for All Girls 

In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List 

YOUNG DOCTOR DEVINXL A Farce in Two Acts, 
by Mrs. E. J. H. Goodfellow. One of the most popular 
plays for girls. For nine female characters. Time in 
playing, thirty minutes. Scenery, ordinary interior. Mod- 
ern costumes. Girls in a boarding-school, learning that a 
young doctor is coming to vaccinate all the pupils, eagerly con- 
sult each other as to the manner of fascinating the physician, 
When the doctor appears upon the scene the pupils discover that 
the physician is a female practitioner. 

SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank 
DuMONT. For eleven females. Time, thirty minutes. Costumes, 
fantastic gowns, or dominoes. Scene, interior. A grand expose 
of Masonry. Some women profess to learn the secrets of a 
Masonic lodge by hearing their husbands talk in their* sleep, 
and they institute a similar organization. 

A COMMANDING POSITION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment, by Amelia San ford. For seven female char- 
acters and ten or more other ladies and children. Time, one 
hour. Costumes, modern. Scenes, easy interiors and one street 
scene. Marian Young gets tired living with her aunt, Miss 
Skinflint. She decides to "attain a commanding position." 
Marian tries hospital nursing, college settlement work and 
school teaching, but decides to go back to housework, 

HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For ten female characters. 
Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy interior. Costumes, modem. 
Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it's "the 
deepest kind of a secret." Before announcing it they must win 
the approval of Harold's uncle, now in Europe, or lose a possible 
ten thousand a year. At a tea Mabel meets her dearest friend. 
Maude sees Mabel has a secret, she coaxes and Mabel tells her. 
But Maude lets out the secret in a few minutes to another 
friend and so the secret travels. 

THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts» 
by Josephine H. Cobb and Jennie E. Paine. For eight female 
characters. Plays one hour and three-quarters. Scenes, inter- 
iors at a seaside hotel. Costumes, modern. The action of the 
play is located at a summer resort. Alice Graham, in order to 
chaperon herself, poses as a widow, and Miss Oxford first claims 
her as a sister-in-law, then denounces her. The onerous duties 
of Miss Oxford, who attempts to serve as chaperon to Miss 
Howe and Miss Ashton in the face of many obstacles, furnish 
an evening of rare enjoyment. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 




The Power of 



LiBRflRV OF CONGRESS 



Expression and efficiency go han lIliliM ^g^ 8 

The power of clear and forcefm expression brings conh- 
dence and poise at all times — in private gatherings, in public 
discussion, in society, in business. 

It is an invaluable asset to any man or woman. It can of tew 
be turned into money, but it is always a real joy. 

In learning to express thought, we learn to command 
thought itself, and thought is power. You can have thif 
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Whoever has the power of clear expression is always sttftf 
ef himself, 

JTic power of expression leads to: 

The ability to think "on your fcef 

Successful public speaking 

Effective recitals 

The mastery over other minds 

Social prominence 

Business success 

Efficiency in any undertaking 

Are these things worth while? 

They are all successfully taught at The National School et 
Elocution and Oratory, which during many years has de- 
veloped this power in hundreds of men and women. 

A catalogue giving full information as to how any of these 
accomplishments may be attained will be sent free on request 

THE NATIONAL SCHOOL OF 
ELOCUTION AND ORATORY 

4012 Chestnut Street Philadelphia 



